Dear Brian, 

Adoption was something we talked about early on during our dating days. We both felt a strong connection to it and knew it was largely in part of our earlier days of volunteering, myself in Haiti and you in Honduras. Throughout our time volunteering, our eyes were opened to a world we didn’t know existed. Through the children we met on those trips, we returned home different people, awakened souls, if you will. Mr. Russo, my philosophy teacher from Molloy, said it perfectly: You think you are going to volunteer and bring value and help to those in need, and that you do, but the value you receive from your experience is tenfold, immeasurable, and it doesn’t leave you ever!

Dolan, our fourth, was only about three months old, and the business was growing at a steady, rapid rate. I had cut down my hours further at the hospital at this point to per-diem, doing about 3–4 shifts a month. This helped to accommodate the kid’s growing schedule with school and activities, as well as alleviate some of the burden for my mom and your parents, who would watch the children for us. One evening, I approached you and told you I thought it was time that we start fulfilling our promise to ourselves that we would one day adopt a child. You wholeheartedly agreed, and your excitement and enthusiasm drove me to start doing my due diligence in looking into adoption programs and agencies. I had work the following morning, and into the treatment room walked this beautiful woman in her early 30s. We got to chatting about our children, and she asked me if I’d like to see a picture of her sons. I responded absolutely, and she showed me a picture of the two most beautiful little boys. I told her they were gorgeous and she quickly opened up how she adopted them, two little brothers, from Ethiopia. I thought, Wow, God, you must have really been waiting for Brian and me to get going on our adoption journey to place this woman right in front of me the morning after our discussion. 

She told me about the amazing adoption agency she and her husband had used and what a beautiful experience she had with them. I contacted the agency the next day, and our application was submitted to their Ethiopia program within days. I was off and running with the list of forms and paperwork that needed to be completed—it’s funny how your passion and drive seem to go hand in hand. It took us just shy of three months to complete everything. After meeting with our amazing social worker, Stephen, to complete our home study, we were officially accepted into Ethiopia’s program.

Within two weeks of our acceptance, our agency closed down its Ethiopia program. Effective immediately, they were no longer performing adoptions out of Ethiopia. We were devastated and extremely discouraged. Everything was lining up. God, how could this happen? Now, you and I are very rational people, and in our minds, we understood the severity of the situation that ensued, causing our agency to halt adoptions from the country, but our hearts felt rejected. We met with Stephen, our social worker, at our dining room table shortly after to review our next steps. 

Now, I forgot to mention that Stephen is one of the coolest people Brian and I have ever met. He’s this tall, super chill, and relaxed man who just has this amazing charisma about him; he’s aided countless families with their adoption journey/journeys, truly a man out there doing God’s work. He looked across the table at yours and my dejected eyes and said, “Guys, this is about a child, not a country. What about China?” Just like that, he blurted it out so matter of factly. You, Brian, who rarely does not have immediate feedback, sat silent. We both just sat there absorbing his words. Stephen’s words resonated, and we switched our dossier over to China. 

The agency we utilized maintained a beautiful list of “waiting children.” This list was compiled of children, most of whom had special needs or who were older, or sibling groups that needed to find their forever families. It wasn’t an easy site to go through. Now, I do not mean ease of use; I mean emotionally. I remember scrolling through and seeing Finn’s little face. He looked petrified in the picture, only two years old at the time, but something drew me in. 

Stephen had put us in touch with a family that had adopted a little girl from China, and I remember asking the mom how she knew this particular little girl was the “one,” the one who was meant to be their daughter. And I remember her answer; she said she just looked familiar. And that was it, that was exactly it when I saw Finn’s tiny, scared face; he just looked familiar—he looked like our son. I showed you his picture, and you couldn’t have agreed more. It’s funny; I remember showing my mom a picture of Finn when we shared the news with the kids and our parents that we were adopting him. My mom said, “He has his dad’s smile, meaning you, Brian.” So I guess yes, he just looked familiar to us! We were matched with Finn in March, and all six of us—you and I and the four kids—traveled to Beijing, China, in November to bring our beautiful little man home. 

Now, I’d be remiss in this part of my letter to you if I didn’t mention the business’s role in our adoption journey. Not only did the business’s success at the time allow us to use a premier not-for-profit agency for Finn’s adoption, but it also permitted the six of us to travel to Beijing to bring him home. The leadership you had put in place allowed you to leave the country and travel to China for two and a half weeks. The company’s leadership also allowed you to disconnect and fully embrace this amazing time in China with our family and our newest addition, our son Finn. 

After only five years since the business’s creation, this was a pretty remarkable feat you had accomplished with your company. Naturally, there were phone calls to be made, emails to send, and virtual meetings that had to be attended, but this was extremely minimal, especially when comparing it to the work-related stress you experienced while on our family trip to Ireland only six months prior. You returned home from Ireland not so much frustrated with your team but more so of how could we improve this moving forward, your approach to most things in life, Brian. You and your team put different processes and parameters in place, and our seamless trip to China was proof of your team’s solid leadership. I won’t say the trip was completely stress-free, but your stress came from constantly counting five little Sullivan heads in a crowded Tiananmen Square in Beijing rather than from the business office.

Thank you for your heart, Brian, for having the vision to create the business, for working incredibly hard to provide this opportunity to our family, and most of all, for bringing our son home to us. The joy, love, and compassion Finn has brought into our family is unsurmountable. I pray that he is continuously blessed throughout his entire life for all the blessings he has bestowed upon you and me. 

I love you, Brian, 

MJ