Providing feedback can be one of the most challenging yet crucial responsibilities of a leader. In this excerpt, Brian Sullivan shares insights into the importance of delivering honest feedback and the distinction between being nice and being weak in leadership.
Delivering Feedback
As Henry Ford famously said, “The only thing worse than training your employees and having them leave is not training them and having them stay.” We carried this mindset into our philosophy for performance reviews and feedback. As a result, we often had some difficult conversations, but in our opinion, that’s what good leaders do.
I’ve often had discussions with leaders on our team about the difference between being nice and being weak. This typically came in advance of difficult conversations that they were preparing for with their team members. In a performance review or when delivering feedback, it’s much easier for a leader to be “nice” and simply provide only positive feedback, even if it’s not deserved. It’s my experience that they are not being nice at all but rather weak. If we as leaders see any area that a team member needs to improve, we need to share that with them in order to help them advance their career, make more money, create new opportunities, etc. If we don’t share this feedback with them, we are setting them up for failure and potentially having to be fired. From this perspective, it’s clear to see which one is really the nice path.
We never want to be a capital “J” Jerk but rather a small “j” jerk, as identified in Patrick Lencioni’s article, “The jerk Factor.” A small “j” jerk refers “to someone who is willing to say or do something that pushes a peer or subordinate far out of their comfort zone in order to make them or the team better.” While a capital “J” Jerk refers to “the ones who consistently demonstrate harshness and attitude, with no apparent reason.” Small “j” jerks are great people who have our best interests at heart, even if we don’t see it in the moment. They are critical to the success and growth of organizations and the individuals inside them.
On his At the Table podcast, Patrick recently hosted Craig Groeschel, Pastor and Founder of Life Church, and they discussed this topic further. Craig had some great insight into why churches need to avoid being weak with their team. If churches can be compassionate, mission-driven, and avoid being weak, then we certainly can too. The entire discussion is a fantastic summary of great organizational leadership and well worth the listen.
When delivered in the right setting with the right tone and context, feedback can be truly transformational. I had a discussion with one young professional on our team who was living with her parents at home after college to save money. However, the reality was that her parents’ well-intentioned support was impacting how she was perceived by her team members, as well as her ability to stay at the office a little late and even attend industry events. In order to continue growing personally and professionally, she needed to set some good guidelines with her parents or move out. To her credit, she received the feedback well and acted on it, and the impact resulted in immediate maturation, personally and professionally.
Can you be the small “j” jerk that your business and your team need?
Delivering tough feedback requires a delicate balance of compassion and firmness. By embracing the role of the small “j” jerk, leaders can drive meaningful growth and improvement within their teams, ultimately leading to greater success for the organization. For more insights and stories like this, be sure to read “Entrepreneurial Trinity.”